January 31, 2013

Patchie [Prepares]

As the first month of 2013 draws to a close I'm watching my little calendar slowly start to fill...as the months grow warmer the events start piling up. I start every year putting everything on my calendar - I view it as a "wish list." If I had all the money, and all the time, and none of the obligations, I would love to do all these things. Festivals and weekend trips and visits to longtime friends in other states. New cities, new faires, new faces. Time by the beach. Time in the mountains.

When I was younger I had all the time. I didn't have the money. Now I'm in a limbo between the two - I have more money than I did before, but not as much time. As life moves on, I know I'm going to go through a decade or two where I have neither time or money, and I'm trying to take advantage of what I can while I can.

I wish I was bolder. I wish, instead of 15 little trips, I'd be brave enough to say "this. This is the year I'm going to Europe." And then I'd book my flight, book my hotel, and go. By myself, with someone, neither would stop me.

I've lost a lot of confidence in the last year or so. I put on weight and lost some of my fire. I only felt pretty in my garb. I only felt confident standing behind my actors when I directed a play.

I'm starting to do something about it. I'm running and practicing portion control, and in three weeks I've lost 4 pounds. It's the tip of the iceberg, but it's a start. In three weeks, I already have more energy. More energy and less weight will eventually translate to confidence and fire. I know it will.

2013, so far, is shaping up.

January 24, 2013

Patchie [Enjoys]

Even working a job where "snow days" don't' exist anymore, until I move someplace where it snows for 8 months out of the year I don't think I will ever stop loving snow, even just a pretty little dusting that makes the world so quiet for only a few hours.

I'm halfway through Week 3 of a Couch to 5K, and I may be repeating this week because it's hitting me much harder than the last two. I feel defeated by that thought, even though I know I shouldn't. I talked to a friend last night who's done this exact program twice and she said it gets easier - I'll start to find my stride soon. The Boy and another very good friend who is now running full marathons have also been wildly supportive, and it makes me feel good. I can do this. Now if I could start to see the scale change, that'd motivate me even more...

This is the time of year that everything seems to slow down to almost a stand still for me. I adore it because by the time I start to long for the busy weekends they've arrived. This is the time I knit like crazy, cook as often as I can, and curl up and sleep as much as possible. Snow amplifies those feelings.

You hear that, Mother Nature? Give me my peace and keep the blanket on my world for a little while. I need a good winter to enjoy the spring.

January 15, 2013

Patchie [Runs]

I've started a Couch to 5K program for myself in efforts to get back in shape and to (for the love of god) stick with something long enough to lose some weight. I'm only two weeks in, but so far it seems to motivate me, and the interval aspect of it makes the 30-ish minutes go by fairly quickly. Add the fact in that I have a treadmill, which rules out weather deterring me from running, and I think I have a high chance of seeing this one until the end.

Work has been so stressful lately that all I want to go is go home, run, take a nice long shower, eat dinner, and then knit while watching tv until I pass out. This is not a bad way to spend my evenings.

The laundry pile, however, disagrees.

January 2, 2013

Patchie [Lists]

I have my 26 Before 27 List, but looking at it there's not much more I can check off at this point...yet. There's a couple things coming up that will allow me to, but mostly I've redone things I had already checked off. I'm not a big New Years Resolution type of person, but January is just over the halfway mark for my birthday, so there's a couple goals/ideas I want to challenge myself to as well.

1. Read more.

2. Find more joy.

3. Be more active.

4. Save more money.

5. Take more photos.

None of them are super specific, which they say is bad for "resolutions." But I find myself craving more in life, and I can't decide what that "more" is. Above covers a pretty broad spectrum. "Active" can cover being physically active or being more active in accomplishing things and staying ahead of the game - both apply. I enjoy reading while I'm on the exercise bike - that covers two, but it's a habit I break entirely too easily. I got a little burnt out with photography at one point this past year - I hope to avoid that. I went through a shopping phase this past year as well - I need to avoid that, too.

I need more joy. I have some negativity in my life that I can not cut out, and I've let it consume me in some ways, and I've found that on my weaker days it's hard to get out of bed. This is important. This needs to change, and it's a change I need to make for myself and for everyone around me. I'm going to try a 30-day grateful challenge on my Instagram (@patchiephotography), and I encourage you to do the same, #30daysofjoy.

I hope to find the motivation to start blogging again. I think I made it too much work for myself on top of photography work, knitting deadlines, theatre, and working my 9 - 5. I need to be more active, but I also need to slow down. More joy, less stress.

I think that's a pretty solid goal.