June 24, 2010

Patchie [Sells]

Without giving anything away, I had a dream a few months ago. I directed a musical in the perfect setting. It was taking a whole new approach and a huge risk and it worked amazingly, not in that "only because it was a dream" sort of way, but in a this could really happen, everything is feasible sort of way. I've been convinced ever since: I'm born to direct THIS production of THIS musical in THIS venue.

I started brainstorming. I threw it out hypothetically on Facebook, the response was more than I expected. I've talked to designers, music directors, sound engineers, and technicians. They all think it's possible. I will be bending rules, breaking traditions, and blowing people out of the water. I can DO this.

Only...how do you propose it? Why am I the one who should do it? My concept isn't that bizarre. In fact, it's completely unbizarre. And thus I run into the problem I've had since beginning The Great Job Hunt of Life: on paper, I can't sell myself.

Get me into an interview and I've got it made. I smile, I'm forward, I'm honest, I speak with authority and walk out with a handshake and a "when can you start?" Gimmie a blank sheet of paper and tell me to write a cover letter and I twist myself in knots. When unprompted, how do you talk about yourself and how amazing you are? It comes easily to some. Not me.

I've typed up the submission. I should maybe sleep on it before I send it, but I don't want to put it off. I want to hit "submit," take a deep breath, and celebrate with a glass of wine and new episodes of Futurama.

Sometimes, you just gotta leap.

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