I have always loved the water. Growing up on the east coast and always vacationing in beachy areas it's been bread into me. My grandparents live in an ocean town. My great grandfather grew up fishing and went on to build bridges. His father was a lobster fisherman. I just want to feel the breeze hit my face.
I had never been on a sailboat before, surprisingly. When given the opportunity, I jumped on it. It's an experience so much better than motor boating. It's quieter and more relaxing. You're relying on wind and water to get you where you need to go. You can hear everything. The company was excellent too - great friends who were out to chill and kept up a great conversation, but when I wandered away towards the front of the boat gave me my space. I was able to do a lot of thinking.
The past five days have been glorious in so many ways, some of which I will happily share and others that I want to keep to myself. Saturday on the boat gave me time to really sort things out. I knew I was on cloud nine, but I couldn't 100% put into words why.
I feel inspired again. I saw a production of King Lear that made me remember why I set out on this messed up theatrical journey to begin with. The dreams I had have returned. I remember what I set out to do. I remembered that I love it, no matter how bad it gets. I let myself get off course in so many ways and I let myself forget and get dragged down with the seriousness of it all. It's fun again, it's inspiring again, and it's mine again.
There are other thoughts and things that both excite and scare me, but that's something I'm keeping to myself. I'm taking it day by day and seeing what comes of it. No more rash decisions. It's time to smarten up.
We opened our show and the most exciting thing has been the post-shows, going out with the cast, crew, and others who have joined us. I have stayed out later than I have in months. Though I'm seriously lacking in sleep, it's made up for in happiness. I've found me again, and I'm loving every minute of it.